Why I am having my first surgery?

Well, this is something out of the blue for you I guess. It’s not something you talk about usually, but I want to be open about it. So yeah, I’ve never had surgery in my life before. I am nervous as fuck! You can tell me I don’t have to be, I know. Tell my brain to listen to that haha.

Okay, first I will explain why. Well at least I’m gonna try my best haha. It started about a month and a half ago. My tailbone felt like a big bruise and it looked liked it too. I thought it was weird, because I did not fell on it or something. I thought it was nothing serious and the bruise disappeared. But a couple of days later it was back and this kept going on for a couple of weeks. So I went to the doctor and he saw nothing weird, but ordered me to go to the hospital to get an x-ray just to be sure. So I went and of course nothing was wrong.

About a week later it really started to hurt. When we checked, it was infected and looked like an abscess. In my sleep the abscess opened and was drained. So the pressure was gone and it didn’t hurt that much anymore. It was still a little wound, but I was happy. I thought this just needed to happe. But no, of course not. A week later the same thing happened and I went to the doctor again. He said; ‘Now I know what it is. I’m sending you to the hospital again and see a surgeon. There are two options: an antibiotics treatment or a surgery. But I don’t think it’s that bad, so don’t you worry.’

Luckily they had a spot the next day. So I went to the hospital and when it was my turn, I had to go into a room and wait for the surgeon. He looked at it for just a few seconds and said: ‘Well, lets just have surgery.’ And he walked out of the room. I was a bit flabbergasted. A minute later the nurse came in and I had a talk with her what was going to happen. I made an appointment for the surgery and my admission interview. And then I went home. I called my boyfriend in the car and had to cry of course haha. I was just overwhelmed; I thought the antibiotics treatment was going to be enough. I was nervous for my first surgery and I know someone who had the same and she had 4-5 surgeries in 9 months. So yeah, I was scared.

Anouk Ireland

Fast forward a bit (I had a short vacation in Ireland) to last week, when I had my admission interview. I had the same nurse, by accident. So that was nice, I already felt a little bit more comfortable. We talked again about what was going to happen and I answered a lot of questions about my life, medications etcetera. After that I had another appointment, with an anesthetist. We talked about what kind of anesthesia I wanted for the surgery. Lucky for me this surgery can be done with an epidural and a short narcosis, so I don’t have to be under general anesthetic. Still I’m scared of needles, but I don’t see this one haha.

I asked what the spot exactly was and why I needed the surgery. It is a fistula; ‘A fistula is an abnormal connection between two hollow spaces such as blood vessels, intestines, or other hollow organs. Fistulas are usually caused by injury or surgery, but they can also result from an infection or inflammation. Fistulas are generally a disease condition, but they may be surgically created for therapeutic reasons.’ [Wikipedia] She said she wasn’t the right person to explain exactly, that’s the job of the surgeon. But she could tell me that the most common cause is an irritated and infected follicle. And an antibiotics treatment is not enough to get rid of it, only the symptoms. It can grow back and grow back even worse. So the best solution is surgery, to get it out of the system totally.

This Thursday I will have my surgery, I’m really really nervous. But I will survive haha. The worst thing about this is, the wound has to heal from inside out. And they say a fistula is always bigger than it looks on the outside. So it will depend on the size of the wound, how long my recovery will take. For the first week I definitely need to take my rest, I can’t even walk Oreo. So that’s gonna be the hardest thing for me I guess; depending on others and not able to do things myself!

So I think I will be a bit absent on the blog and Instagram. I’m trying to work ahead with a couple of recipes now; luckily I still have some recipes I want to share. But I can’t make anything new for the first couple of weeks. BUMMER! It’s gonna be easy breakfasts and lunches, but luckily my BF is a really good cook. And loves it too, so I think I will look forward to dinner!


I will keep you posted on how it goes.


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